Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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