At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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