She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
