I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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