I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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