I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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