all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
