Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
