do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
