Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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