Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
