This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
