My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
