new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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