): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
