He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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