i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
