If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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