I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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