I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
