You really coming over, don't trick.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
