Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
