Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
