Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
