She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
