I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
