He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
