I hate all girls vehemently.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
