I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You just made me feel so damn special
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
