all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
