Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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