god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
