Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
