This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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