I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Your mouth is God's brothel.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
