We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize