Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
