I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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