Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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