I cockslap morals
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
