the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
