i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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