Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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