The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
