I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
