Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
