FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Randomize
