so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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