Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
40s are totally the cure
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
