can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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