don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
