Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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