You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
